Growing Up & Liking It
I find myself not being a huge fan of 'self help' books. Maybe for two reasons? One being maybe I think I have it all together and don't need any book telling me how I should I should feel or how I should be acting. Or maybe it's because I am afraid of what I might find behind the words someone else has written, that they may hit too close to home. But since I do not limit myself to just one particular genre, I agreed to read and review Growing Up & Liking It.
As I read, I found myself analyzing my inner self and the person I have allowed life to mold me into. The more I read, the more I realized just how much of the 'real' me was missing. For so many years I relied on people and circumstances dictate how I was to live my life. I was one of those that would pretty much say what I thought people wanted to hear in order to be accepted and liked. After a period of time I could feel the 'real' me go more and more into the shadows and the me whom society accepted becoming stronger and stronger.
I have been married and divorced 5 times, each time I thought 'this is the one' or 'this one is my soul mate'. Each time, I got a huge slap of reality and a broken heart. I felt in some of the marriages like a robot, just existing. I felt my life and the purpose for me being on earth was to be a mom, wife, maid and so on. I existed each day to make the kids happy, the spouse happy or the neighbors happy. I gave up on making 'me' happy any longer and kept in the shadows. I found myself becoming depressed and feel worthless. At one point I had to go see a Dr. because if I did not get some help with my nerves, I told him I felt like killing my family. Back then, you could say that and not be taken out by a swat team.
By reading Growing Up and Liking It, it made me redefine myself. I realized that I was guilty of gossiping in the past, some in the present but made me to realize not to do it in the future because of how it DOES affect people. In the long term, gossiping can mold and shape a person's way of thinking about themselves or of others. Words can be a lethal weapon that can cut a person to his or her core. Sometimes it can't be repaired. Just as bullying can cause people to think so low of themselves, they find the only escape for them is suicide or self inflected pain such as cutting.
I can go on and on about the lessons I have learned from this book but I will stop here. And to be honest, I haven't learned anything new, the old things have just "reawakened" and come to the surface. Things that have been hidden for protection deep down inside the 'self'. I plan on reading the first self help book she has written, and maybe I can rediscover myself in other ways as well.
I recommend this book very highly for those of you who have found that life has caused the 'real' you to be hidden away, safe behind a locked door. Read this book and others by her, and you will find she has the key to let them rejoin your life.
I give Growing Up and Liking It five stars *****
Nora Chipley Barteau
About the author taken from her site
Dolores holds a Bachelor of Arts degree with a major in psychology as well as teacher certification in Manitoba, Canada. She has taken courses in human relations and communication.
Upon completion of the Education 1A program at the University of Manitoba, she became a primary school teacher. During her teaching career Dolores furthered her education by completing her Bachelor of Arts degree with a major in psychology from the University of Winnipeg.
After leaving her teaching career, she became a bank employee for a major financial institution for a number of years. In her earlier years, she volunteered her time by teaching Christian education, tutoring, working in the school library, and belonging to the ladies church group.
Upon moving to Pine Falls, Manitoba due to her husband's career change, Dolores assisted at Wings of Power and worked on the womens auxiliary at the local hospital. She also served on the Hospital Foundation Board.
She is now retired and spends half the year with her husband in a retirement community in Arizona. For the remainder of the year, Dolores enjoys her children and grandchildren in Winnipeg, Manitoba where she was born and raised. She continues to learn from all the people who touch her life.
Come back to see my review of Dolores's first book I'm Not Perfect and It's Okay.